PONG

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Instructions 
 ↓

Owner's Manual

Model No. W-100

The game that's sweeping the country. Loads into your own web browser. Color! Sound! Action!
A retro-themed graphic from the cover of a fictional owner's manual. It depicts a crude vector illustration of an early video game console, with text below that enthusiastically reads: PONG for your web browser

Table of Contents ↑

  1. Play Game
  2. Cover Art
  3. Table of Contents
  4. Instructions
  5. Playing Pointers
  6. Maintenance
  7. Troubleshooting Checklist
  8. Disclaimers
  9. Changelog

Instructions ↑

A diagram labeling the components that make up the game playfield: the ball, two opposing paddles, a net, and scores.
Fig. 1 — Game Playfield

Choose between 1 or 2 players. The first side to score 15 points wins. Move the paddles using the following controls to block your opponent from scoring:

Table 1 — Game Controls
Controls Player 1 Player 2
Move Paddle Up W O
Move Paddle Down S L
Menu Select Space
  • Keyboard Supported
  • Mouse Not Supported
  • Touchscreen Not Supported

Playing Pointers ↑

Remember these fine points about ball and paddle control to increase your playing skill more quickly:

An illustration of a paddle showing how the ball's angle will depend on its angle of impact and how close its impact is to the center of the paddle.
Fig. 2 — Angle of Deflection

Each part of the paddle deflects the ball at a certain angle.

An illustration of a paddle showing how the ball's speed will depend on its speed at time of impact and how close its impacts is to the center of the paddle.
Fig. 3 — Angle of Speed Multiplier

Each part of the paddle deflects the ball at a certain speed.

Once you become familiar with these fine points, you can use these different angles and speeds to surprise your opponent. By carefully selecting where your paddle hits the ball, you can choose where the ball will go.

Maintenance ↑

DO NOT:

  • Pour liquid in speaker opening
  • Expose game, self, or civilization to excessive heat through decades of political inaction in the face of existential climate change
  • Throw computer peripherals out of frustration
  • Mash uncontrollably on the keys of your input device
  • Repeatedly click or tap on the game expecting it to register input (b/c I haven't worked out how to neatly implement touch controls yet, sorry!)

DO:

  • Sanitize paddles before and after use
  • Use your mouth to imitate the iconic "bleep" and "bloop" sound effects
  • Overthrow the bourgeoisie
  • Read books. Lots of books. Of all genres. Never stop learning
  • Play as many times as you like and share the game with your friends

Troubleshooting Checklist ↑

Symptom Cause and Remedy
Unsure how to start game or move paddles.
  • Ensure device has a physical keyboard. Check instructions for available game controls.
Picture flickering when scoring.
  • Low voltage.
  • Change batteries.
No regular TV programs.
  • Switch Box set to "GAME". Change to "TV".
  • Twin-lead wire not properly attached to rear of TV.
  • Antenna wire not properly attached to 300 OHM screws on Switch Box.
Buzzing sound from loudspeaker.
  • Device volume on too loud. Turn volume control down.
Playfield unsharp, unsteady or no color.
  • Display not fine-tuned for best picture. Use fine-tuning knob, color or tint controls on TV set to adjust.

Disclaimers ↑

  • The products depicted on this website are fictitious. Any similarity to actual products, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
  • No data was harmed in the production of this site. The digital projectiles were created using 100% reclaimed bits locally sourced from the shoulder of the information superhighway.

Changelog ↑

  • v1.0.0 —
    • Initial release